Daily Archives: 6 April, 2014


because of kian


***** Mature Content, Abuse, Sexual Situations, Adult Situations, Strong Language *****

I know I’m twisted. Growing up in a perfectly well-adjusted home, I don’t really have an excuse. But no matter… I realize how messed up I am. And therapy can only do so much.

I pushed my boyfriend to violence, a violence he couldn’t control. Sickly, I almost liked it. So I pushed him more. Before long, the pain outweighed the pleasure and the loss I sustained shattered me. So I ran. I’m now a bit shell-shocked harboring a lot of guilt. My boyfriend is now my ex and wants revenge. He wants me to pay for turning him into the monster he’s become. And I still have a deviant yearning that I don’t understand. My own monster inside… my own demon to battle.

I can’t get close to anyone. I can’t give in and scratch that itch. I can’t wreck someone else.

And now there is Kian… my rescuer on a dark, painful night. He sees through my pretense. He tries to pull me from my frightened isolation, to keep me from becoming a victim. He forces me to face my warped desires and shows me that pain doesn’t really have to truly hurt.

He wants to show me a way to serenity. But I am afraid… Will I ruin a good man?

Kian collage

Reviewed by Jenny & Gitte

J&G: 3 Stars

‘It’s truly amazing how physical and emotional abuse can skew your perceptions of the entire world. About yourself.’ – Brynne

Gitte: We were so excited to meet Kian, weren’t we Jenny,…just because, and we weren’t disappointed. He was like a gentle giant with a fierce and kinky edge who drove the storyline as the more likeable, interesting and solid character.

“He told me I was breathtaking. He told me I was brave. He told me I was his.” – Brynn

He was a protector, he had a vulnerable side and he was sweet and passionate.

“Always so protective of women and children….You can’t save us all, Kian.” – Brynn

This story had so much promise, Sibylla Matilde really is a great Author, her writing is flawless and smooth. We meet Kian rescuing Brynn, in more ways than one, and they embark on a journey of bared hearts, passion and revelations as they find themselves embroiled in Brynn’s escape from a scorned violent man.

‘I’d seen her practically crushed, and I wanted nothing more than to protect her.’ – Kian

Because of Kian started off great and I was really invested, however for me, it lost momentum which it never really picked up again until right at the end. I also found it missing depth to the characters and their respective backgrounds which for me had a consequential impact on the crux of the story. Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoy it but I didn’t love it. It felt quite rushed and there were some inconsistencies too. I only point this out because this story could have been amazing because Kian stands out as such a brilliant unique male character; but something was missing and thinking about it, well for me,  it comes down to the character development and backstory. I struggled with a connection to our heroine because of this and would have loved more about what made Kian…well Kian.

“I’m not sure what it is…but it’s almost like, the tighter you hold me, the more secure I feel.” – Brynn

Without doubt though, I definitely got the strong passionate connection between Kian and Brynn; though through my inability to connect with Brynn I felt frustrated at times with her behaviour.

‘He quite simply held my soul in his hands..’ – Brynn

‘I knew I wasn’t good for her, but I also knew I had to try to be.’ – Kian

It’s a tough one isn’t it, Jenny?! It could have been a fab read for us rather than just okay, but it just fell short didn’t it?

Jenny: It is a tough one Gitte, because I was initially pulled right into the story and knew Kian, as a character was going to be something special. He immediately had a presence and I completely agree because it was Kian who drove this story for me. There was so much to this man and I was completely smitten with him. Fiercely protective, understanding, passionate and loving, scarred by his past and a man who possessed an absolute heart of gold. Yep, it was because of Kian that I kept turning the pages.

‘My paradise. My heaven. My Brynne.’ – Kian

Like you Gitte,  I did enjoy Because of Kian but it didn’t engross me nor evoke the feelings I had anticipated. I would have loved for the characters to have been explored a little more because the lead up to the crux of the story did feel a little rushed. It felt as though we weren’t afforded the luxury of settling in to the story before it was all racing along, leaving me wanting.

Brynn was such a damaged character who felt as though she was some sort of monster and who blamed herself for her circumstances, when in actuality she was very much the survivor. You couldn’t help but feel sorry for her and the inner turmoil she was feeling though I didn’t connect with Brynne as I did Kian.

‘…I had a deviant, masochistic side that brought out the monster in men.’ – Brynne

Would Kian’s patience, love, passion and understanding be enough to heal the wounds and provide the tools needed to heal? Could he be Brynne’s saviour?  The premise of the story was great, the character of Kian was gripping but like you Gitte, I would have loved a little more depth to Brynne and Kian because as much as I felt the passion in their relationship, to me, it also felt as if something was missing.

J&G:  Sibylla Matilde is one author we will keep checking out time and again as we loved her work in In the Firelight and she really does have a unique way of telling her stories and creating amazing characters.

“I don’t know what I’m scared of, Kian. Maybe I’ve just tried to stay in the shadows for so long that I’m afraid of being exposed.” – Brynn

Whilst we were initially captivated with Because of Kian it just didn’t have the same pull for us that her previous work had. That’s not to say we didn’t enjoy this read because we did, we simply felt something was missing.

 “You’re not fucked up…You’re unique, I’ll give you that.” – Kian

There is no doubt we’ve found a book boyfriend in Kian. This man stole our hearts. This story of pain, healing and survival and finding that person who can free your soul. We know a lot of readers will find this story of two damaged characters who together, seek to possess the strength to make them whole, one they will definitely want to pick up.

‘ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review’

Check out and purchase BECAUSE OF KIAN here

Because of Kian (Bitterroot)

Check out more from this author

Our review here

In the Firelight

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Filed under Our Reviewers, Pick an Author, Reviews by Gitte, Reviews by Jenny, Sibylla Matilde