The Malebox is baaaack!
We’ve all seen, discussed and had opinions on the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie, but we haven’t been able to find many comments from the guys who have had to accompany their significant other’s to watch it.
We did ask our husbands to go with us but they politely (or should we say, categorically) declined.
MB has been a bit slack of late so it fell on his shoulders to bring us a male POV of this much talked about movie.
We think you’ll enjoy – Malebox’s Day At Fifty.
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THE MALEBOX REVIEWS
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – THE MOVIE
Reviewed by MB
MB is back with a bang, a Fifty Shades bang that is. It’s been a while and I thought I’d do something different…instead of being book review guy, I’m going to do a review of the new Fifty Shades movie.
To make this happen, I went to see the movie today. No I didn’t go on my own, I didn’t want to be THAT guy, I went with a girl. She’s read the books, so this made it easier to suggest. I pretended I wanted to see American Sniper at first, just to make her work for it a bit. Now she thinks I’m the best guy ever and all going well this will stand me in good stead later when I bring out the power tools!
The movie theatre was about half full and made up of groups of girls and two guys. Me and the rather strange middle aged man sat on his own a few rows in front. I didn’t want to make eye contact, just in case this was seen as some sort of invitation.
I bought my lady popcorn and a drink. I normally don’t share food, but on this occasion, as I cut out a hole in the bottom of the of the popcorn bucket, needs must. I was hoping that this little treat for me might coincide with a sexy scene in the movie. As usual the commercials droned on, however an ad for strawberry flavoured condom lube put us all in the mood. Then came the previews…unfortunately I was slightly sick in my own mouth at the prospect of being dragged to see Magic Mike 2 this time it’s XXL.
Before we get onto the movie itself, I will let you into a guy secret. There are certain movies that guys secretly like but that they won’t admit to. Some examples of these are 17 Again and Dirty Dancing. We pretend not to like them, but we all see ourselves as Patrick Swayze throwing our shapes at the end, just like you Ladies see yourselves as Baby in the corner. We can now add the Fifty movie to our guy list…do we want to be Christian Grey? Yes, we most certainly do.
As I’ve read the books already, I was quite interested to see how Anastasia would look naked on the big screen and I wasn’t disappointed. Any girl that is spawned from the loins of Sonny Crockett, the coolest cop ever, was always going to be something special. She was perfectly cast in the role and played it cool just like her Dad. Jamie Dornan was perfect as Christian as well, just enough without coming across as a sex pest who should be on some sort of sexual offences register.
I thought the movie was very well done and that the sex scenes were delivered appropriately. I’ve read negative reviews about the movie and its portrayal of women, and I think it’s ridiculous. This is fiction people, if you don’t like it, don’t watch it or read it. For what it’s worth, as far as I could tell Ana seemed to be enjoying herself. I would expect these sorts of comments from do-gooders types and ‘I have an opinion on everything’ sorts, but this movie does not glorify anything bad.
I do think that it’s one of those movies that means much more if you’ve read the books though. If you went out with your partner one night and just decided to see the movie, you may walk out at the end a bit confused by it all. I had this experience with The Thin Red Line, I have no idea what this movie was about and appear to have missed the point of the entire thing. Quite why it was Oscar nominated and lasted over 3 hours is beyond me. Fifty won’t win any Oscars, but who cares, give the people what they want. They want Christian and Ana, love, sex and butt plugs.
To all you men out there, give it chance, your Lady may like it and may even want to stop off at a hardware store on the way home. If she does just go with it…in my view, anything that encourages more women to get involved in DIY is a bonus.
Just as a personal plea to E L James, maybe her next book could be about a dominant sportsman or even a dominant who likes to go out with his male friends to bars and get drunk every weekend. This would really do us men a favour.
I feel no shame in admitting that I enjoyed the movie, and any self-awkwardness in the cinema left each time I saw my male friend two rows in front, who I’m certain was touching himself. Did my date enjoy the movie I hear you ask? Yes she did… does she want my best Christian Grey moves later? Yeahhhhh she does!!! Does she want me to sniff her underwear? She may well do, but MB doesn’t roll with that. Especially not as she won’t have changed them since watching the movie, so it will be like Niagara down there. Maybe if she changes them, we can…..NEGOTIATE
“We aim to please, Miss Steele “
We asked MB for a pic to accompany this post but he wants to remain anonymous. We had to settle for a bit of ‘arm porn.‘
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