We invited our Male Reviewer, the Malebox to assist us in reviewing Taint to obtain a male perspective on sexpert
Mr Justice Drake.
Well, once we read his review, we felt we didn’t have much more to add. We loved it. We hope you do too!
Right now, you’re probably asking yourself two things:
Who am I?
And, what the hell are you doing here?
Let’s start with the most obvious question, shall we?
You’re here, ladies, because you can’t f*ck.
Oh, stop it. Don’t cringe. No one under the age of 80 clutches their pearls.
You might as well get used to it, because for the next six weeks, you’re going to hear that word a lot. And you’re going to say it a lot.
Go ahead, try it out on your tongue.
Ok, good. Now where were we?
If you enrolled yourself in this program then you are wholly aware that you’re a lousy lay. Good for you. Admitting it is half the battle.
For those of you that have been sent here by your husband or significant other, dry your tears and get over it. You’ve been given a gift, ladies. The gift of mind-blowing, wall-climbing, multiple-orgasm-inducing sex. You have the opportunity to f*ck like a porn star. And I guarantee, you will when I’m done with you.
And who am I?
Well, for the next six weeks, I will be your lover, your teacher, your best friend, and your worst enemy. Your every-f*cking-thing. I’m the one who is going to save your relationship and your sex life.
I am Justice Drake.
And I turn housewives into whores.
Reviewed by Malebox and Jenny & Gitte
MB, Jenny & Gitte: 4 Stars
“If a dude can hop out of the sack and go to work or run, then he still has energy left for sex. He is just done having sex with YOU” …. Preach it Drake, preach that shit….I’m a believer, can I get an Amen brother….I’m baaaaccckkkkk. Well TBB asked me to review another book with them because the girls missed me and the book world seemed empty without my viewpoint. This time is was Taint.
As always I knew nothing in advance about the book, I just go with the flow and I have to say it was a refreshing read. Finally, a book from a man’s point of view that captures the essence of the male thinking.
“We are simple creatures ladies, give us something that makes our mouths water.”
I have always advocated that men are simple creatures, we want feeding, fucking and our egos stroking, that is it….the rest is semantics. This book truly captures the way we think. The outline is that high class women get sent to see Justice Drake by their husbands and stay at his sex palace to teach them how to be more attractive and keep their men interested in having sex with them. Why I hear you ask…simple…because these men are all straying from their wives and seeking spills and thrills in more exciting avenues of pleasure as their wives light up the bedroom like a wet match. Chauvinistic? Yes it is….A little bit of a reality check for some maybe?…Again, yes it is…Is there truth in this notion? I will leave that up to you to decide, but it does make fascinating reading! Justice Drake shows the ladies what men really want them to be like in the bedroom and how to do it like a pro.
There is a love interest and an underlying secondary story throughout, which I will not spoil for you.
This book raises some interesting points and will no doubt cause some soap box action and bra burning from all the feminist and equality readers out there, but give it a chance. It will answer some of the questions about men’s psyche.
Have you ladies ever wondered why men actually like porn and strippers? Apart from seeing naked flesh and cheap thrills, it’s to see these women who seem to love sex so much and flaunt their sex in our faces. Yes they are being paid for it blah blah blah, yes it’s only acting yawn yawn yawn, but seeing a women enjoying sex or just sexing it up turns us on…a lot…let me explain! We don’t care if you’re acting or can’t pull off the flash dance routine in full while giving us a lap-dance. No, the point is your attention is on us. Just the same way the porn star looks into the camera right at us or the stripper looks back us while twerking. We don’t want sex swings, porn star sex and lap dances with you all the time, we just need to know that you have it in you should the opportunity present itself.
Justice Drake shows the women how to unleash that animal inside, that us men know wants to come out. This is the theme, as I see it, behind the book, husbands don’t actually want other women, they want you just with a side order of whore now and then. Think about it, if you are getting fillet steak at home, do you need to go and have a chewy bit of stewing steak? No. But as much as we love our fillet, we also like to eat a dirty burger now and then…a filthy dirty burger who lets us know that this is the best fucking burger in the whole world we are ever going eat. And after we eat it, we just want another one.
But why should we have to change, it’s his fault, I hear you all scream, it isn’t right… Neither is Justin Bieber being declared a musical artist or children dressed as adults in my view, but this is something I have to suffer seeing nevertheless and appears to be part of the world we live in.
This is definitely a thought provoking book, which for me makes a great change to the normal themed erotic based novels. There is not loads of sex in it, but there doesn’t need to be. Wow, that is a first for me…
If any of you ladies would like a copy of the “how to please your man 12 step programme by MB” I’ve got some laminated copies on order which I can send out to you upon request.
It’s been a pleasure, Ladies
“Do your worst, Justice Drake.”
J&G: Well we had planned on doing a full review for Taint, but after that fabulous insight there’s not a lot we can add. Did we enjoy this book? Yes, we sure did. Did it live up to the synopsis? Well….yes and no. That was one kick arse synopsis and because of that, we did expect to experience more of “that” Justice Drake. It was a sexy, fun, had emotion and some really good twists and our appetites were whetted ‘pre Ally’, but we needed to see more of the arsehole sexpert Justice in full flight. Other than that, we really did enjoy this one!
“I want suburban slut. Housewife meets whore. Sell it. Make me believe it. Own it.” – Justice
**ARC provided by author in exchange for an honest review**