Category Archives: Tabatha Vargo

Playing Patience by Tabatha Vargo

playing patience


Sometimes all you need is Patience.

Life’s been hard for Zeke. Being a punching bag for his alcoholic father has turned him into stone. Not even the dodgy trailer park he lives in can scare him. Fighting is his release and sex, drugs, and his guitar bring him peace, but deep down Zeke isn’t quite as hard as he makes himself out to be. When he meets Patience, she finds all his broken pieces and puts him back together, but she’s a ray of light in his shadowed life and the last thing he wants to do is bring her into his dark world. Playing careless is easy, playing the bad guy can be fun, but playing Patience is impossible, especially when she can see right through him.

Zeke isn’t the only one who’s broken, and for the first time, in a long time, Patience feels alive. Her black and white world gets a shot of color when she meets Zeke. He’s unlike anyone she’s ever met with his tattoos, piercings, and blunt honesty. She wants nothing more than to let go and ride the wild side with him, but some wounds never heal and the broken pieces of Patience aren’t so easy to find.

Warning: This book contains graphic language, sex, and violence. Mature readers only. Not intended for young adult readers.

Patience collage

Review by Jenny & Gitte

Gitte: I actually have tears sat here thinking what to write as my emotions are all over the place thinking about this story. It’s one of those that hits you immediately and you gasp out loud, put your kindle down and say out loud “I did NOT just read that sentence” the few little words that immediately release tears and get your hackles up. You know it’s going to be a hard read and you continue, unable to stop because you want reassurance that everything is going to be okay for our main characters Patience and Zeke. There is so much I want to say but I fear I will ruin this story for everyone who should without doubt pick this book up. What do you think Jenny?

Jenny:  I know exactly what you mean Gitte because I am the same.  And yes, I totally agree with you, to give anything away would be a travesty.  A reader has to experience every moment for the first time just as we did. Sitting here, reliving this book and recalling the heartache I felt reading it, once again reduces me to tears.  I just didn’t realise the level to which this story would affect me. I don’t think I was quite prepared for what was to come and I can’t begin to express the nervous, sick feeling I carried in my stomach pretty much the whole way through this book.  I did indeed gasp…out loud, on a number of occasions.  This powerfully poignant, dark romantic story was so detailed in its aching and so touching in its telling of Zeke and Patience, two damaged yet resilient souls who were able to see something so unique, something so special in each other that they didn’t see in themselves, was one I found  compelling and couldn’t put it down until the end.

“She belonged in the light and I was right where I was meant to be – stuck in a dark, dank gymnasium”.Zeke

“I was a broken porcelain doll, cracked beyond repair and tossed in the back of a closet.”  Patience

Gitte: Zeke and Patience are both extremely broken and haunted characters. They have both been severely scarred both on the inside and the outside by the people, who should have loved them the most; who should have protected them. Brought up in complete dysfunctional families where pain is the dish of the day, they are survivors.

Patience despite her appalling “home life” is an extremely beautiful and strong soul. She thinks of everyone else before herself. She haunted me with every word written about her real life behind closed doors and I literally wanted to pick her out of my kindle and put her in my pocket.

Patience trusts Zeke, despite how he acts and his, at times, cruel words. She sees the real Zeke underneath the façade. She trusts him though why, she doesn’t know. People are easy to judge on appearance and adapted behaviour, but this guy despite the tattoos, the rock star persona and everything that comes with that, shows his real sensitive side just as his soul sees and understands hers.

Zeke was such a well written character. He is flawed in some ways, playing the crude arsehole, but mostly he was a hero in my eyes as he was in Patience’s eyes.

“I don’t look at you like you’re nothing. I look at you like you’re everything, because you are, and I fucking hate it.”Zeke

I loved that he was blunt and didn’t mince his words. He was honest to a fault no matter what reaction his words caused. He was cocky yet underneath all the layers of hurt and layers of self-protection which was caused by the hand he was dealt in life lies a beautiful and honest soul surrounding a heart waiting to be pieced back together.

“He was covered in color and art; he was a standing statue for freedom, and I was drawn to his careless stature.”Patience

“Damn, snowflake, if you get any hotter you’ll melt.”Zeke

The journey isn’t smooth for Zeke and Patience by any means or us the readers. They have their own separate emotional baggage which has made them adapt roles in life, unable to trust and unable to believe that they can indeed be loved and love in return.

“What is it about girls and cocky assholes? I’ll never understand it.”Megan (Umm we totally get it right Jenny!?!)

Jenny: Damn straight Megan! And yes, you’re spot on Gitte. These cocky arseholes definitely do attract us, but let’s face it, we were never going to be able to resist Zeke, and not because he was a drop dead gorgeous musician, with a body to match (which did help of course) but because we were able to see the beauty in the soul that lay underneath all the outward bravado from this man who had been given more than his fair share of life’s hard knocks and he broke my heart. This tattooed, honest to a fault, pierced, tough, hard living man saw no future, he felt such hopelessness at the hand he’d been dealt that he played out his life accordingly, silently wishing for the day his band, Blow Hole would be discovered and take him away from the hell that was his life, yet resigned to the fact that this was his life. This was all it would ever be.  He’d built walls that he wouldn’t allow to be penetrated …that was until he met Patience.  In Patience he saw something different. Something pure, something untainted and a beauty he wouldn’t sully with his world.

“Her kisses were tiny miracles” Zeke

“Don’t ever be scared with me. I’d never do anything to hurt you and I’d destroy anyone who tried.”  Zeke

Patience…..Oh Patience. This girl took my heart and shredded it.  My aching for her was felt deep down.  I just wanted to pick her up and take her away from everything. I wanted to make it all okay for her.  Sad, lonely, perfectly imperfect Patience suffering and living her own tragic and sorry existence whilst feeling apathy at a life which has let her down, yet showing a loyalty and selflessness that will tear at your heartstrings.   The opening chapters were extremely hard to read and this strong, determined yet vulnerable and damaged girl had me completely transfixed.  Zeke and Patience….together they make sense. They will captivate you.

Do you like playing that song?” I asked casually as I handed him the guitar
“Not really”
“Then why were you?”
“It reminds me of you”

Gitte: I thought this story was brilliantly written and I inhaled every single word. Patience and Zeke are from complete different walks of life but tragedy and pain does not discriminate for anything or anyone. This beauty of two emotionally broken souls finding each other, unable to resist the pull despite every obstacle; paired with the heart wrenching pain makes for one powerful story that will stay with me for a long while.

“Years of shadows and darkness were erased in that very moment. I held my source of freedom in my arms and I could already feel the heat from her light against my skin.”Zeke

Jenny: I agree Gitte. This story was so beautifully written.  A powerful and engrossing story, it wasn’t always pretty, in fact it was extremely difficult at times. Zeke and Patience, “two broken parts of a whole person” will intoxicate you, they will break you, you will feel their hurt and you will experience their pain, you will rally for them in a way you never thought possible and you will love with them completely.

There’s a place you land, right before you hit rock bottom, a sort of cushion before the blow…..Zeke was that place for me. He was like a rainbow in my black and white movie, a soothing touch against jagged scars.Patience

The moments of beauty and tenderness interspersed throughout a story of such cruelty, emotional turmoil and heartache will remain with you for a long time to come.

Everything bad went away in that moment. She soothed every scar, took away every bad memory. She made me feel betterZeke

Gitte:    4.5 Heart-breaking Beautiful Stars
Jenny:  4.5 Gut wrenching stars

Arc provided by Author Tabatha Vargo for an honest review

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playing patience


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