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Jenny:  Well Gitte, didn’t this turn out to be a book that packed a punch!!!  This is such a hard book to review.  How do you review it without giving anything away?  Practically anything you say about this book could be a spoiler.  I will say that this book was a rollercoaster ride and a half.  I don’t even know where to start.  I do know that I could NOT put this book down until I finished it.  It pretty much consumed me until the end and I am questioning myself for loving Eli! Am I nuts Gitte?

Gitte: I have to say I loved it Jenny because yeah…it hit you over the head whilst reading it, leaving you conflicted and confused. It was absolutely compelling. We went into this story knowing nothing about it didn’t we, which is how this story should be read and yeah it was a pretty twisted, scary, strange and intriguing journey that’s for sure. It was different, it was original, it was painful and it was disturbing. Oh and yeah how much did I love Eli!!! I know I shouldn’t…is it crazy that we love him Jenny? Probably…do we care…no!!

Jenny:   So glad we knew nothing going into this because that only added to the anticipation throughout.  And you’re right….we love Eli and we don’t care if we’re crazy!  We meet Emalyn Spicer.  Emalyn is damaged.  She is shut off emotionally and has decided to start somewhat of a new life at college with her one and only friend Michelle.  Emalyn has OCD brought about by something grievous in her past that she has buried deep in the recesses of her memory.  Everything must be clean, neat and germ free.  Anything short of this sends her into a panic.  She is shut off physically and emotionally and resigned to a life without love or relationships. A life where she can never be “normal”.  She considers herself to be a freak.

She is cared for by a mysterious benefactor who is an enigma indeed.  Who is this man and why does he care for her and how did he come to be part of her life?

Gitte: Poor Emalyn….her life is ruled by her OCD…her horrific past…her benefactor. This girl is so messed up and has such little control and normality. She lives with the lonely. She knows her life isn’t right but she is unable to heal, to change and to just let go.

Jenny:  Emaly meets and starts to fall for Sebastian.  She thinks Sebastian may be the answer to her moving forward and hopes to be able to find some sort of normalcy with him….maybe even a relationship with him.

Then, the unthinkable happens and she finds herself once again trapped and held against her will.

“The dark is a quiet place. Reflection and contemplation are the only things to do in it. Well that, and imagine the worst things possible.
I don’t have to reflect or contemplate or any of those things. I know what the worst things possible are. I know about the things that hide in the dark. Insanity is the least of them.” 

What ensues is one of the craziest rides I’ve ever been on.  This is one dark, twisted, emotionally crazy read and I loved every minute! It was different and it certainly kept me on my toes throughout.

The writing is fast, sometimes a bit too fast and you have to mentally slow it down to keep up with everything that is happening.  Some of the scenes are way out there and will leave you scratching your head but you will love every minute of this insanity.

This book will play with your mind. You will wonder what the hell could happen next and it will keep you guessing and the surprises will keep coming. It’s hot, suspenseful, tragic and messed up.

I can’t wait for Eli’s book! That is one crazy ride I’m looking forward to jumping on. He is one messed up man and oh I do love him so!

Gitte: Emily needs love…normality is love, kissing and holding hands; being able to go to a restaurant and not worry. Love is not obsessive stalker behaviour, aggression or pain. But how do you find that normality when you cannot come in contact with anything without some serious scrubbing and a scalding hot shower? Germs are everywhere! And who would want a freak like her…a burden to everyone…a burden with so much baggage the actual person disappears beneath it. Though, who she is not even she knows. Not really.

Then yeah Sebastian happens and you know what Jenny I thought he was such an amazing guy my heart hurt for him, it really did! However, when suddenly the unthinkable happens, the unbelievable crazy bit, where I literally shouted WHAT????as I was reading, I knew something incredible and disturbing was about to happen. Did I expect the story to go as it did no…was I gobsmacked? Hell yes….but I loved it because of that.

“I needed to see you.” He repeats himself.
I smile. I like that word, need. It’s not want. He had no choice because it was a need to see me. I like that.”

Oh and then Eli happened…I loved Eli….I want more Eli!!

I was thinking on how to sum it up..struggled a bit so all I’ll say is that it’s Dark, Disturbing, Confusing, Erotic, Ugly, Heart-breaking & Frustrating…It was such a well written surprise and I am still thinking about it days after finishing!


The truth is subjective to what the lonely lets in. 

Emalyn Spicer has lived with it for a long time. She thinks it goes back further than her memories do. She knows it goes back further than the OCD.

When she arrives at college, her OCD’s and the lonely refuse to let her have her wish to be normal. 

When she meets Sebastian and starts to fall for him, she lets herself believe it’s possible to outrun the things chasing her from the past. But how to you get away from the things inside of you? How do you run from yourself?

Just as she gives up and succumbs to the lonely, the unthinkable happens. She finds herself once again trapped in the dark, once again held against her will.

This time she meets the lonely head on. In the darkest corners of her mind, she discovers there is more to her world than she ever imagined. She discovers that the lonely was there for her, protecting her from herself and her secrets.

How far would you go to find yourself?

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  1. Izzy said:

    My goodness, another awsome read!!!! I could not put this book down!!!! I finished the same day I got it. By the way I found myself also loving Eli!!!!


    1. admin said:

      I know we loved him 🙂

      Glad to hear you too enjoyed it! 🙂


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