NOT THE ONE by AMY DAWS

“It’s a painful thing not living up to other people’s standards of you. It’s an even more painful thing when you’re not even surprised.”

We just knew this one was going to hurt and make us cry. And it did. Amy Daws’ writing in Not The One was absolutely beautiful and haunting as she effortlessly took us from past to present on a healing journey for both family, friends and lovers. It was gritty, raw and not very easy to read at times, as souls were bared and deep grown issues were dealt with after much tragedy. This was a journey for many characters all with a part to play in an interwoven story of grief, torment and love.

“The darkness is my home. It’s where I belong. Maybe forever.”

Reyna has always embraced pain and suffering; she knows not of any other feeling. It’s as if she needs it to breathe and live – often wallowing in it – basking in it even. It felt quite twisted and ugly but everything can have beauty once you scratch the surface. Layers of self-loathing, grief and guilt are not easy to shed. They become your protection and second coat. It takes the right person to help you unravel and discover the soft, loving and beautiful underneath years of struggling with a guilt complex and striving to lose the label of being a miracle.

“I thought I could make you happy, but Christ, I can’t be the reason for all this. This isn’t happiness.”

Reyna is the centre of this story with characters from previous books orbiting and playing significant roles. In a story of healing this was as much Hayden and Liam’s book as it was Reyna’s. Between Hayden and Liam we lost many tears. What is it about a truly broken man we just can’t bear? Perhaps as women we identify more with the heroine as a fellow woman who may have been through similar pain and sorrow we easily slip into that role by connecting. Yet to feel and experience a man’s honest and devastating pain and misery is just so overwhelmingly heart-breaking. Who knows – but we felt it every step of the way.

“Even though I’m still fucking madly in love with you, I won’t…I refuse to wait forever.”

In a story that examined the true nature of relationships, demands and expectations as well as honesty, friendships and love, the power of Amy Daws writing truly shone. This has to be our favourite book by this Author as we felt her heart beat in every single page.

‘The worst part about healing is finding all the massive battle scars left behind.’