ABSOLUTION by L.P. LOVELL & STEVIE J COLE :: REVIEWED by THE MALEBOX

‘There are no rules, no safe words. I do not want her willing submission. I want to drag it from her, screaming and crying. I want ultimate power over her, and while she’s here in this room with me, I want to own her, body and soul.’

After a bit of a hiatus, I’m back. The book world just hasn’t been the same without me, I know. After such a long break I needed a wow book to get me back into it.

I’ve done rock stars and groupies, broken men and women who love each other, then they don’t and then they kiss and make up at the end…it’s all become a bit a tiresome. I want more than girl meets boy, they have a few misunderstandings because he can’t tell her how he feels because his mother never loved him and daddy wasn’t there. I have enough problems of my own without hearing about other people’s.  I’m broken too but I sort my shit out. Then Totallybooked hit me with Absolution.

As always, I knew nothing about it and only hoped for something a bit different, and thankfully I got it and more. It’s the story of Ezra and Evie and the violent and seedy world they live in. It’s a Tarantino movie waiting to happen readers. It’s a mix between True Romance, Basic Instinct with a hint of Reservoir Dogs. Remember the Michael Madsen ear scene….clowns to the left of me – jokers to the right….well let’s just say body parts get chopped up. It’s Fifty Shades on crack with an eight ball injected straight into your brain whilst having electric shock therapy.

I don’t want to give too much of the story away, so I’ll keep it simple. Evie is “little killer” who’s on a one woman vendetta to rid the world of dirty men who’ve wronged and abused her in the past. She has specific dislike of men who force themselves upon her and other women which is quite understandable.

However, rather than report them to the local authorities and take them through the criminal justice system, she likes to kill them and watch them die instead. It isn’t all bad though, she’s having sex with them at the time, so I can think of far worse ways to go. Take my fears for instance, collapsing and shitting my pants whilst out food shopping….’clean up on aisle 6!’ Or surviving a plane crash, only to be attacked by sharks, but somehow surviving with only an arm and a leg so I can’t swim for shore…but I digress…

Back to Absolution…..Imagine a serial killer with a conscience if you will. Ezra is a pimp and gangster who likes to “break” and “own” women through his own special brand of coercion. He’s quite unpleasant and takes a shine to our little Evie who’s a religious girl as well and likes to be atoned for her dirty little sins. Does atoned mean fucked and whipped? But you know what they say about those catholic girls!!!

However, there’s method in her madness when she befriends Ezra and the plot really does thicken. It’s filled with murder, mayhem and sex. To say that both Evie and Ezra are somewhat obsessive is putting it mildly. I love an edgy woman as much as the next guy, but I don’t want to wake up chained to a bed with my own cock stuffed in my mouth.  Sure I like a bit of rough play, but when it comes to my testicles they’re fine just where they are. There’s a fine line and Evie certainly likes to cross is. I won’t spoil any more of the storyline so you’ll just have to read it.

It’s a dark read which I enjoyed, but I must warn you that it isn’t for the faint hearted. It’s quite graphic in parts and the sex scenes between our two characters won’t be for everyone. Luckily I’m not everyone and found it fascinating. There’s one standout scene with Evie and a redhead which was just brilliant.  It was sexy, evil and funny all wrapped together with a fucked up cherry on top.

I do have a few questions though. Firstly I’m a man of the world…but I have never come across a woman (I have but not in the context that I mean here) who punishes a man for looking at another woman by giving him a blowjob. If this actually happens, I am owed 15 just for my journey home from work today. Furthermore, she goes on to pride herself at being the best at it….and this is his punishment!!!!!Is this true? Have I been missing out here? I have bought gifts, flowers, dinners and not even a nibble. When I look at another woman, there’s more chance of giving myself a blowjob than receiving one from the woman I’m with. I always thought it was a bit of chore for you ladies, but clearly I’ve been going wrong all these years and it’s seen as a competition and matter of pride for you.  From now on, when the opportunity arises, I’ll be saying ” you wouldn’t believe how shit the last blowjob I got was, and by the way, did you see the hot girl with the big tits behind the bar earlier, I’d love to rail that, anyway carry on sweetheart.” I think we should all rally together Totallybooked to get this type of healthy competition into the Olympic Games and hand out some fucking medals just to raise the stakes a bit. I’d give that one a 6.5 as the hand to mouth technique was all wrong and I felt tooth…… Come back in four years after some practice….next, oh good the Brazilian synchronised swimming team…

Secondly, why didn’t Dave the dog have a back story? I wanted to know more about him and understand just what made him tick. Was he raised by his lone wolf father who abandoned him when he was young leaving him to fend for himself on the streets? Only to later finding out that his mother was actually a Persian cat who was addicted to cat nip and used to ply her trade in the alleyway behind the fish market just to feel loved? Did this result in Dave being sexually confused, hiding his dirty sexual attraction to felines and his lifelong dislike of squirrels and bath time, and never really understanding why?  I understand that he wasn’t a main character but give me something. Regardless of his absence of a backstory, he could of at least hooked up with a slutty little poodle or something whilst Ezra was busy punishing Evie!

I must admit that I really did like Evie, even though she is as nutty as squirrel shit. What concerned me slightly was that the more I read her story, I found myself agreeing with her warped view of society and was willing her on in her quest. She was my Frodo…only her quest was to stick a poker up someone’s ring as opposed to finding one. My inner monologue was saying “stab him in the neck Evie, make him pay, do it again, cut his balls off and feed them to Dave.” What does that say about me? Either I’m about to go Michael Douglas on the world or it was exceptionally good writing.

Ezra I found more difficult to like because of the way he punished Evie. How strange is that? The serial killer I can accept, but a man who hits a woman because she wants him to, I take issue with. Maybe it is me that has problems?

Absolution really is my favourite read to date. It had everything I like in a book, a hot woman, a dog, sex and violence, gangsters and most importantly of all….a great story. I wanted to know how it would turn out from the very start and read it in 3 days which is a record for The Malebox.

I am off now for some self-flagellation for having some very dirty thoughts about Evie. Until next time…