A WISH FOR US by TILLIE COLE

EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT from A WISH FOR US by TILLIE COLE

I stared at her in her seat next to the prick that was Bryce. She smiled and laughed with him as Lewis prepped for the lecture. Look away, arsehole, I told myself. I did. Only for her laughter to make my eyes snap back in her direction.
Her laughter was pale pink.
As I watched her now, my stomach clenched. My phone flashed on as I pressed the unlock button. And like I had all weekend, I stared at the simple message that had come through.
Bonnie: Are you okay?
The simple question made something happen in my chest. It felt like it was cracking more and more with every time I read it. Are you okay?
I hadn’t seen Bonnie all weekend. She hadn’t come to see Easton, who was mostly sleeping off his hangover from Friday night. I’d watched the door from behind my laptop, just waiting for her to turn up. I waited for Easton to move, just in case he was going to meet her. But she never came, and East only left to get food.
I told myself it was a good thing. That I didn’t want to see her after making such a fool of myself. But then I’d lain awake all night staring at her simple text. Are you okay?
I didn’t reply.
I busied myself with work. Got my mixes uploaded. The tunes were already the top stream in EDM. It should have made me happy. But every time I listened to them, all I saw was dullness in my mind. Now I’d played the instruments I’d once loved so much, everything seemed lifeless in comparison.
I had to forget it ever happened. But when my eyes wandered to Bonnie again, to her pretty face and thick dark hair, I felt like I was back in that room, with Bonnie’s hand on my arm.
She’d tried to speak to me when I came in today, but I’d walked past her without a word. I wasn’t sure I could look at her again without feeling like I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
But then I had to look at her . . . and I couldn’t bring myself to look away.
I leaned back in my seat and forced myself to listen as Lewis droned on about the effectiveness of change of tempo in composing. It bored me. I didn’t need to be taught this crap.
After nearly falling asleep, I checked the clock. There were only ten minutes left. I watched the clock as the minutes counted down. My phone buzzed on my desk. My stomach rolled when I read who the text was from.
Bonnie: Can we meet after class?
My heart kicked into a sprint. I looked at her a few rows down. But she didn’t look back. I knew I shouldn’t go. What the hell would I say? And if she even mentioned Friday night, I’d have to get the hell up and leave. There was nothing to be said. I was drunk. That was all it was. That’s the story I was sticking to.
I didn’t want to talk about it. I couldn’t.
I lifted my phone to type that I couldn’t make it. But instead, found myself saying: YEAH.
“One-on-one sessions start this week,” Lewis said, pulling my attention back to him. He pointed at the wall. “Sign-up times are on the wall. Fill it out before you leave.” I tried to calm my pulse, but it wouldn’t slow down at the thought of having to face Bonnie.
The students rushed forward to fill out the times. I stayed in my seat, gathering my things slowly. Bonnie was down at the front with Bryce. “Come meet me for coffee one night, Bonn,” he said. For some reason a damn fire burst to life in my chest at him asking Bonnie out.
Bonnie tucked her hair behind her ear and moved to the sign-up sheet. She filled it out, then turned back to Bryce. “I . . . I’m not sure,” she stuttered.
He caught her hand in his and I just about combusted. She looked down at his fingers on hers, and I froze, wondering what she would do. “Come on, Bonn. I’ve been asking you since last year.”
She smiled up at him, and the sappy look on Bryce’s face really pissed me off. “Farraday,” I said, without thought. Bonnie looked up at me in surprise. “I don’t have all day. If you want to meet now, let’s go.” I flashed a look to Bryce. “I don’t want to have to watch you turn him down.”
Bonnie flushed. Bryce looked like he wanted to murder me. I’d welcome him trying. Bonnie pulled her hand away from Bryce. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Bryce.” I heard a small shake in her voice. The way she glanced up at me nervously, I knew she didn’t know what the hell to say about Friday night either.
Bryce nodded his head then made for the door. Not without giving me a dirty look first. Arsehole. Bonnie got in front of me. “Cromwell, you don’t have to speak to him that way.”
My nostrils flared. I didn’t like how she was protecting him. Did she like him? Was that why? “You wanted to meet.” I pointed at the folder she was holding, clearly labeled with “Composition project.” I ran my hand through my hair. “He was holding us up.”
Bonnie took in a deep breath, but then she really looked at me. Her brown eyes were wide and I saw sympathy flare in them. Embarrassment took me in its hold. I thrust my hand in my pocket and pulled out my packet of cigarettes. “I’m going for a smoke. I’ll be outside.”